Movies, like lovers, have their own personalities. There are some that you fall for instantly, some you keep gazing at despite yourself, some that grow on you, and some who are never quite right. There are some that have issues, some that look a little underwhelming, some that seem too glossy and superficial, and some that end up too forgettable to talk about. Nikhil Advani’s Katti Batti is none of these things. It is an imbecilic cliche-ridden embarrassment that made me want to punch it in the mouth.

Because it is that bad, yes, but also because a spurt of blood may just enliven it with something approximating realism — for this is a romantic drama that, not knowing its place, happens to be executed like horrid, tasteless slapstick. There are times when this movie is as loud and unbearable as, say, a Grand Masti. Lead actors Imran Khan…